Conversation as a Performing Art   


Throughout my articles on conversation skills I have emphasized the 
idea that conversation is like a dance, with conversers taking turns 
leading and following. However, there is a striking exception to this 
rule. We could refer to this exception as `the performance conversation.` 

Conversation on Broadway 

During a recent trip to New York City, I attended a Broadway show 
entitled `Dame Edna Returns with a Vengeance.` Dame Edna is really 
the brilliant Australian actor, Barry Humphries, who impersonates a witty, 
advice-giving blue-haired lady who carries on a gossipy conversation 
with her audience. In this production, Dame Edna did not observe the 
usual conventions of theater that would have had the audience `looking in` 
on the action. Instead, she actively engaged us, chatted with individuals and 
couples and the audience as a whole. For two hours of mirth and merriment, 
Dame Edna conducted an extended conversation for 1,000 people who paid 
$87.50 for orchestra seats! 

Performing in Personal Situations 

But how about in a much smaller conversation? Is it appropriate for one 
Person to `perform` within that more casual and personal situation? 

Of course, yes, if the performer is up to the task, and if the listeners 
agree. I would much rather listen to a brilliant wit amusing me than insist 
on having my turn. I would also defer to a gifted story-teller during our 
conversation than interrupt the story with questions. However, if the 
converser only seeks to dominate and rambles on to control the talk, I'd 
rather be actively engaged in the usual turn-taking mode. 

When a converser goes into performance mode and the listener 
agrees, the implied arrangement shifts from `You have a turn to talk, 
then I have a turn to talk` to `You entertain me, and I willingly give up 
my turn to talk and give you my full attention and positive feedback.` 

Conversation Art on Stage 

History is sprinkled with legendary raconteurs and wits who 
delighted individuals and groups with their verbal genius. For 
example, essayist Dorothy Parker, poet and playwright Oscar Wilde. 
Mark Twain was another. Contemporaries include Garrison Keillor 
of A Prairie Home Companion, who `converses` with both his theater 
and his huge radio audience on Saturday nights on Public Radio. People 
pay big money for tickets to listen to various cultural creatives engage 
in unscripted conversations on stage, such as poet Robert Bly and linguist 
Deborah Tannen, and columnist Molly Ivins with satirist Al Franken. 
In film, `My Dinner with Andre` has become something of a classic 
despite its lack of plot or action – only two men over dinner having a 
conversation about big life questions. 

Do You Want to Be a Conversational `Performer`? 

When you become skillful at word-play or at storytelling, 
you will have earned the right to take center stage during a group 
conversation. Fortunately, lots of books, audio materials, and 
workshops are available to assist you, plus a whole lot of living 
models you can observe and learn from on stage or television. 

Practice is necessary to become proficient as a performer. 
Practice is the dues you must pay for getting `on stage` and 
reaping the personal reward of delighting your listeners.