Tellers, Sellers, and Yellers   


These three types of talkers like to have the final word. 
They also like to be right. 

“Tellers” Style 

“Tellers” lecture, expound, and explain to others. 
Their tendency may be an occupational style that often 
accompanies professions of expertise such as medical 
doctors, college professors, attorneys, and other 
advice-givers. 

In conversation, tellers will tend to use forms of the 
very to be. They believe they are explaining to you the 
way it “really is.” You will not find them using modifying 
phrases like “the way it looks to me,” or “my viewpoint on 
that is . . .” Instead, they will speak their truth as if it is 
THE truth when instead, as we know, it is their opinion, 
or their conclusion, or merely their “story.” 

Tellers feel satisfaction in talking much more than in 
attending or actually listening. After all, during listening 
they will sometimes hear thoughts and opinions contrary 
to their own, and that is not at all satisfying to them. 
They'd prefer hearing themselves informing others, and 
they are usually well-intentioned in doing so, even though 
blinded to the possibility that others also have valid ideas 
to share. They are willing to accept mere acquiescence 
as an appropriate response. 

“Sellers” Style 

Sellers like to “close the sale” by managing the talk. 
They are usually well-rehearsed in their opinions, and 
they seek to convince, to overcome objections, even to 
wear down their conversational targets (or adversaries.) 
Sellers get their satisfaction from “winning'em over” and 
having other conversers actually admit “I guess you're 
right.” 

Some sellers are actual salespersons, but one need not 
work in this profession to adopt the “seller's stance” 
during conversation. For example, lots of people show 
symptoms of the “selling” approach when they use the 
“Yes, but . . .” structures to dismiss your objections. 
They want their ideas to prevail and are –basically – 
not open to really considering your alternative ideas. 
(Notice this style manifesting during our current political 
season – when both “sides” believe they are absolutely 
right..) 

“Yellers” Style 

“Yellers” will attempt to conquer with vocal volume. 
Their voices will become louder as they overtalk. Try 
to interrupt them? No use. They talk louder, and they 
keep talking. (Public examples include the pundits on 
the CNN “Crossfire” program.) 

Private examples abound, as in personal and spousal 
arguments. Observe children yellers, and also observe 
grown-up “children” trying to out-shout each other when 
civility and reason fails. 

At its best, conversation is a collaboration among people, 
not a competition. Sometimes, for fun (as in word-games), 
it can be a “co-opetition.” In the teller, seller, and yeller 
styles, the frame around the conversation is competition: 
The teller seeks to overcome ignorance by “informing.” 
The seller seeks to convince the reluctant or the wrong-headed 
by winning the argument. The yeller seeks to dominate 
by vocal power – to win by overtalk or shouting. 

These three types may be fluent and verbally skilled talkers 
but, lacking the instinct for collaboration, they are not masters 
at conversation.